Jan 29, 2010

How I would Improve the Twilight Saga!

Team Edward!  Team Jacob!  It is all I hear when visiting middle school students from my youth group at lunch.  I am going to submit my official opinion of the Twilight Saga here and now!  It needs help.

I could fix the entire series with one simple plot change.  First of all let me set the scene.  It all takes place in the second book entitled New Moon.  Edward deserts Bella, and Jacob becomes the new squeeze.    Bella gets asked to a movie by Mike, and Jacob is there in time to crash the date.  Jacob then bails as he experiences a werewolf's coming of age.  Jacob and Edward return and Bella chooses Edward.  Boo!  The story-line is too simple.  Bella and Edward are destined for each other and Jacob is not even a viable option when Edward is in the picture.  So, where is the plot?

I suggest that Jacob leaves earlier and Edward stays gone for a while longer.   Meanwhile Bella really starts to like Mike.  At the conclusion of New Moon she tells Jacob that he is not the guy for her.  After this, she starts to tell Mike that it is Edward she loves.  Then Mike replies in a high pitched voice, "I have failed my mission".  After that, Mike walks about ten steps and is beamed up into a spaceship.  Finally Bella exclaims, "Aliens, Werewolves, and Vampires?  What am I, a magnet for monsters?"  And the movie fades to credits.  Now that is a blockbuster.  Also I would end the entire series at this point.  That way it could pretend that it wasn't trying to be serious with a sparkling, undead, Luke Perry from 90210.

I actually did enjoy the movie, but I thought I would offer a suggestion for improvement if anyone would like to do an online fan fiction novel.  I may do a prequel myself of Edward as a kid.  I would call him Eddie and possibly put him in a family of monsters where he is actually the werewolf and his grandpa is the vampire.  Now if only I had a name for my book.  Monster family?  Monster Mash? Monstars? Munsters?  Yep, thats the one.  The Munsters!

11 comments:

Debs said...

Mike is not even an option!!!... but it would be a funny scenario!

Tami said...

The plot twists are far from over. All shall be revealed.

Inside Nate's Head said...

Oh, you mean she doesn't end up with Edward?

Tami said...

I can't spoil the fun. You'll have to read the books... or wait two more years. All shall be revealed.

Inside Nate's Head said...

well the only thing that could happen is they have a child . . . or she becomes a vampire . . . or she gets pregnant with a half human half vamp and has to be turned to a vampire to survive the process. Nah, that would be a lame twist, I like mine better.

Tami said...

My lips are sealed.

Sonya said...

You are such a boy! The reason why Mike is not even an option is because he is a loser. Edward & Jacob she has the best of both worlds. Both love and adore her, one is just more passionate than the other. Its simple really its called a connection and its just a book or movie. And why are you even writting about this again? I thought you were beyond this now, too good to read or watch this because its so middle school.

Sonya said...

Oh and I do love The Munsters, I try to catch it on TVLand whenever possible.

Kim said...

"That way it could pretend that it wasn't trying to be serious with a sparkling, undead, Luke Perry from 90210. " Hahahaha I can not stop laughing at this!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Team Mike!

Nate Garrett said...

Absolutely, Team Mike, LOL!