How I would Improve the Twilight Saga!

Team Edward!  Team Jacob!  It is all I hear when visiting middle school students from my youth group at lunch.  I am going to submit my official opinion of the Twilight Saga here and now!  It needs help.

I could fix the entire series with one simple plot change.  First of all let me set the scene.  It all takes place in the second book entitled New Moon.  Edward deserts Bella, and Jacob becomes the new squeeze.    Bella gets asked to a movie by Mike, and Jacob is there in time to crash the date.  Jacob then bails as he experiences a werewolf's coming of age.  Jacob and Edward return and Bella chooses Edward.  Boo!  The story-line is too simple.  Bella and Edward are destined for each other and Jacob is not even a viable option when Edward is in the picture.  So, where is the plot?

I suggest that Jacob leaves earlier and Edward stays gone for a while longer.   Meanwhile Bella really starts to like Mike.  At the conclusion of New Moon she tells Jacob that he is not the guy for her.  After this, she starts to tell Mike that it is Edward she loves.  Then Mike replies in a high pitched voice, "I have failed my mission".  After that, Mike walks about ten steps and is beamed up into a spaceship.  Finally Bella exclaims, "Aliens, Werewolves, and Vampires?  What am I, a magnet for monsters?"  And the movie fades to credits.  Now that is a blockbuster.  Also I would end the entire series at this point.  That way it could pretend that it wasn't trying to be serious with a sparkling, undead, Luke Perry from 90210.

I actually did enjoy the movie, but I thought I would offer a suggestion for improvement if anyone would like to do an online fan fiction novel.  I may do a prequel myself of Edward as a kid.  I would call him Eddie and possibly put him in a family of monsters where he is actually the werewolf and his grandpa is the vampire.  Now if only I had a name for my book.  Monster family?  Monster Mash? Monstars? Munsters?  Yep, thats the one.  The Munsters!

The Twilight Saga: New Moon, A Film Review

Well, I have just returned from seeing New Moon at the Marquee Cinema in Statesville, NC (I see movies in digital whenever possible).  I must say that I was pleasantly pleased with the overall film (if I can still call a digital picture a "film").  New Moon has already broken two box office records.  The first was for the highest grossing midnight showing at $26.3 million.  The second was for the highest opening day with $62.2 million.  The film has already grossed $72.7 million, and that is not even including the money they took from me.

The movie is slow overall, but so was Twilight, and it really works well for both of them.  New Moon has pretty convincing special effects, including a scene of a bird in suspended animation as Victoria flees from the wolves beneath. I found myself drawn to the visual nature of the film.  The use of several bright colors such as the red in Bella's truck was very appealing in contrast to the overcast setting of Forks (except for a scene with artificial looking flowers).  Overall, New Moon is far less sensual than Twilight, which I consider good given the age of the core audience.  I enjoyed the experience, and am looking forward to the next installment (I am still not going to read the series at this point).  I give the movie two thumbs up, only because I do not have three.

This is the part where I will be giving away details (SPOILER ALERT!).  The movie begins with Bella's 18th birthday.  She does not want to age, and fears growing too old (and ugly) for Edward.  She has a dream where she is in a meadow with her grandma.  Every move she makes is mimicked by her grandma (keying in on Bella's fear of aging).  Then the camera pans to Bella who now looks exactly like her grandma (obviously she is seeing a reflection of herself).  At this point the movie insults our intelligence by panning back to the grandma, who is now encased in a mirror (in the middle of a field).  I hate when movies lead me by the hand.  I mean come on--we get it!

Then Bella bleeds, Jasper attacks, and the Cullens must move.  The only problem is that Edward is really callous about it.  It is not like she could follow him anyway (he is way too fast).  He treats her like the boy in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, when he shoos his new pet ant away (because it is for the ant's own good).  I'm not complaining about this scene, it is merely an observation.  After that, she goes through depression. This is before realizing that she can see and hear Edward's over protective image every time she does anything risky.  Motorcycles help with the rush, so she gets two from a junkyard, and goes to Jacob for help with repairs.  She begins to fall for Jacob, as do the 12 year old girls swooning in front of me at the theater.  He is very likable in this movie, and I find myself rooting for him as the underdog (no pun intended) of Bella's crazy monster movie love triangle.

Jacob changes into a werewolf, and he skips out on Bella too.  He returns when danger strikes in the form of Laurent and Victoria.  When I saw Twilight, I was led to believe that these two had parted company, yet now they are working together.  I am told that the book bridges this incompatibility, but movie sequels should not be written with any prerequisite, except for the prior movie.

Bella jumps off a cliff for another Edward sighting, and is seen by Alice Cullen (who sees the future).  Edward thinks she is dead, and goes before the Valtori (ruling vampires) with a death wish.  Bella shows up, and there is a fight.  They decide to kill Edward and Bella.  Alice assures the Valtori of a vision--that Bella too will become a vampire--and they are set free.  They head back to Forks where Edward says that he must come in the window because her dad will not let him in the door (again we are given information from the books that is not explained in the movie).  Bella turns Jacob down, and is asked by Edward to marry her.  She never responds, and the credits roll.

I am looking forward to hearing your responses to New Moon.  Please watch the movie first.  Otherwise you will be like my son, who likes to complain about dinner every night before tasting his meal.